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The Joker, The Unlucky 13 & The One That Got Away​.​.​.

by lee christian

supported by
Lynn Hallbrooks
Lynn Hallbrooks thumbnail
Lynn Hallbrooks I love how it starts out as well as the overall beat and rhythm. Favorite track: The Joker.
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1.
The Joker 03:47
the joker v1. deal 'em out watch 'em fall get a crap hand u'll lose it all ch. the joker in the pack is hanging in the back he'll spring out at u when u least expect it v2. the ace of life is up my sleeve it ain;t my fault if u get a bum deal guest rap by keys: come sit down here take the burden off your shoulder i see the anguish in u living lines make u look older the joker in the pack popped up on the wrong day like major arcana reverse foul play in the spread even the ace turned his head to attack from behind just to stab u in the back what's that?! stitched up like jack it was another marked deck...
2.
slippery slope space, suckers and real life wet dreams leeches starfuckers and messed up teens aspirin, meths and naked flame hearts on sleeves and childish games let's go down the alley where nobody can see lock the cubicle door and be careful not to squeal take a break from being good and turn over a new leaf slide down the slippery slope with me sex, dope and slips of the tongue shots and smokes and spit and cum vampires, rubber and fake i.d's sycophants, critics and wannabes spinning out on lack of sleep screaming out for bass and beats
3.
Vampire 04:06
vampire my heart hasn't felt this way for a long long time (thats's i'm feeling palpitations have i finally found the right person (somehow i doubt it) but maybe at the wrong time like salvation (no such thing for u) in a fairytale (a sad story) or in a nursery rhyme (or a sick song) got me excited can't get it off of my mind (u better get out of here i biting nails now (that's how it starts) can u guess the end? (it ends in tears) where do we go from here? (anywhere!) well we could go back to mine (no!) it's not far to go (don't be stupid) but i should let u know (haven't u heard?) my reputation (somebody should've warned u) i'm like a vampire (too late!) and i can smell your blood (you're already in his sights) it's really getting me hot (run while u can!) why don't u come over here? x4 now what's that? i feel like something has changed it's like my soul grew back and it's all re-arranged my brain i'm starting to feel sane or am i just kidding myself because love was a thing that i'd put on a shelf high up out of reach, no chance of getting near and then suddenly your here so can we just play this by ear? can i just be happy you're here? or should we just take a chance? because i thought for me love was a thing of the past yeah, i thought for me love was a thing of the past it was a thing of the past stop now what are u thinking? she's just a woman she's just like all the rest she'll rip your heart out your chest and leave u for dead feeling stupid feeling angry feeling desolate like a vampire in the midday sun all burnt up
4.
Monster 05:23
monster eating away at me i'm such a fucking monster all plastic joy and fake belief drug myself up to the eyeballs so i can't see the me you see i'm such a fucking american the emperor's new designer jeans nail myself to a burning cross so u can't see the me i see i want to be selfless i want to see sense all this power in my hands and i use it all for my own ends
5.
Stakeout 04:07
stakeout a love like this can never die because i know it's only in my mind a love like this can't be replaced because it never existed in the first place forever in the distance always on hand to lend assistance right now u don't even know me but i see all the things that u'd never show me never show me show me someone who doesn't like to watch when people never notice u voyeurisms all u've got x2 voyeurisms all i've got it's all i've got x4 before u go to bed u comb your hair well i know because i'm always there i'm always there x5 i'm always x2 always on the stakeout always on your case surveillance the biggest part of the chase i said this is the best part of the chase show me someone who doesn't like to watch.
6.
my sweet jezebelle she's like a speeding car in the fastest lane she's like the feel of cold steel right across your veins she's like a loaded gun that's pointed right at your head cock the hammer spin the barrel, come on and place your bets (come on and place your bets) she's like a race u know u've lost, right before u even start she's like a razorblade slicing away at pieces of your heart she's like a foot long dildo boring straight up your ass now bend over and assume the position it's time to suffer for your art (suffer for your art) my sweet jezebelle - well she press my buzzer and she ring my bell my sweet jezebelle - well i only get the sweet shit if i promise not to tell well she's the dark wet gloss of a pouted lip she's the tingling on the end of your finger tip well she's your favourite centrefold, stuck together and stained she's the dirtiest wet dream with the sickest of twists see temptation in her tongue as it runs over her teeth she's like a rottweiler bitch on heat! she's like a noose pulled tight right around your neck well she's the desperation in your dying breath she's like a poster child for the living dead she's like a little taste of heaven which just a little pinch of hell my sweet jezebelle
7.
foreverevermore grab my hand and hold on no telling what'll happen next we were doomed from the word go fated since u first said yes nothing behind but history nothing to do but carry on lost the sense of mystery we've loved each other to death for way too long and it's a miracle that we made it this far (it's miracle) so tell me who's to say (don't tell me) we can't make it just one more? foreverevermore now and then the cracks appear really can't say sorry enough heartbreaks on a regular basis stuck in a mexican stand off still we fly on blindly the centre of the sun is just ahead when your wings are burnt away i'll hold u tight til i am dead
8.
Off The Hook 02:49
off the hook make me wanna never take another call make me wanna rip the phone out of the fucking wall please why can;t u just leave me alone? god... let me sleep. please... oh god, is that the phone? who the hell could that be? shit i better get it considering i'm the only one at home still i bet it's not for me suppose i'm up now anyway and i need to take a piss oh no not another someone trying to sell me shit dude i so don't need this... it's 9am you bastard and i went to bed at five how are u surprised to have woken me up when i'm just shocked i'm still alive? my name's not even in the book they just keep calling they don't give up now i don't want to be rude but look form now on i'll just keep it off the hook just keep it off the hook x5 off the hook no new phones no new gas no electirc no questionaires no donations sorry to say no time to spend so just go away no patience for your generic script no interest in any of it maybe it's your method that offends me x2 (maybe your robotic approach) (maybe it's your android tone) makes me wanna rip it out the fucking wall makes me wanna never take another call
9.
T.W.A.T 03:21
t.w.a.t there was a time we were inseparable our words would bind us everyday there was a time when i heard wedding bells now all those sounds have gone away from joined at the hip to just barely in touch and i miss my best friend so very much their was a time our wavelengths were the same finishing each others sentences there was a time i wore rose tinted shades but now i look through a broken lens from siamese twins to just barely in touch and i can't help but miss u so much... i miss u every day and every night wracked with pain i miss the times we used to share but now the tapestry of my life seems thread bare there was time i thought our love would last that it was but of such strong stuff but nows the time i know our love is dead and i miss u dear so very much
10.
Down Here 02:10
down here down here in my hole can't get any peace although i'm all alone the voices never cease they always find a way to frighten me by showing me what a monster i could be i'll teach u about hate u teach me about loss i keep on carrying that weight u keep on counting the cost down here in my pit i learn to like the dirt i learn to live in shit it can't get any worse u always tell me i should lighten up i just reply the world is darker than this world is darker than u can see how long can we exist down here?
11.
confidence trickster i think i wanna fuck u or maybe just be u do u think i could touch u? or even maybe just see u? i've got a heart that's as broken as my fractured mind i've got soul that's as black as the dead of night i've got conscience on a par with a dirty copper i've got a bad obsession brewing with any vice on offer all evidence must be destroyed what a stupid boy confidence trickster what a stupid boy could i get right inside u? or maybe even surround u? or maybe i could become u? and maybe then get to know u... keep on banging those nails u know how much i fucking love it string me up along with all those tall tales i know exactly what your like but i can't seem to get enough of it no i can't seem to get enough of it confidence u always cut to the bone trickster u never cut to the chase confidence u always cut to the core trickster make me wanna cut my face confidence cut it all to pieces trickster cut to the next scene confidence cuttings on the editors floor trickster and a button that says 'delete' all the evidence must be destroyed confidence trickster - stupid boy.
12.
Just Dust 01:34
just dust (blood & oil coagulate) superman is a myth the land of the free does not exist the lap of luxury, a syphilitic pit our time is up, the last chance missed. soon there will be nothing left of us (blood & oil coagulate) just dust... freedom of speech it takes the piss u never know what u just missed your ignorance is fucking bliss wallowing just like pigs in shit these waters ain't so tranquil anymore... (blood & oil coagulate)
13.
Adaptation 03:50
adaptation the only barometer u can trust is your heart (u are what u love not what loves u) no one can judge u if u almost die (i wanna be a baby again) it's like a free pass (i wanna be a baby again, i wanna be new!) if ours is such a love not to be rivalled such a classic love affair then how come no one remembers? it's like it wasn't there! i don't see a movie based on it no hit best seller story no number one love song about it that's because nobody cares if ours is such a legendary story such a passionate epic tale how come that pair of charlatans romeo & juliet keep stealing all our ratings? because it turns worthless if u let it die because longevity is all they want it's not about the quality of life because it's all about sheer quantity because u know love comes cheaper if u buy it in bulk...
14.
Tapeworm 05:09
tapeworm i wish life was never ending i wish life would end right now i think life's just a drop in the ocean i think happy thoughts under a permanent frown all used up, bruised up blood sweat and tears all messed up, smashed up sum of all your fears i wish i could just stop giving i wish i could take so much less well i'm scared to think my kingdom's coming but i'm more scared to see what's left of it... well there's a tapeworm in the stomach of society it's feeding on u and it's feeding on me.
15.
let me tell u what i'm thinking about sweetie i was in the bath one day when i discovered why i was destined for greatness u know how concerned people are with appearances this is attractive, that is not well that is all behind me i now do what other people only dream about i make art until someone dies... see? i'm the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.

about

streams in lower quality.
made by lee christian in oxfordshire, manchester & bath, uk.
(p) & (c) lee christian & quickfix recordings (1995-2015)

'the one that got away' is a cover of depeche mode's 'world in my eyes', obviously not available here for legal reasons but can be sent to you by email. slot it between 'monster' & 'stakeout' or just go to my mixcloud page for the complete album experience! :-)

credits

released July 14, 2015

many thanks to all performers, collaborators & inspirations
(listed on each track). mastered by mixgenius for landr.
cover photo by johnny moto. liner notes photo by darren brinham.
artwork by grace williams. project assistance: terri bonham/quickfix.

license

all rights reserved

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